Who is this guy?

I woke up this morning and Alexander was nowhere to be found. He must have never come home last night because it was the weekend and there was no way he would have even woke up if he had been home.

I opened up the fridge to see a curious looking note left in what seemed to be in the form of chicken scratch. It was lodged behind the fruit which had been seriously tampered with, for it was no longer in the neat assortment I had packed it in when I put it into the fridge.

I was pretty worried about Alexander all day. I knew that black van wasn't right... something was peculiar about the whole situation... I just couldn't put my finger on it.

The note that was left seemed to be from a kind person... only a man could have handwriting as poor as this... this guy seemed to have been stealing my food for some time now... I didn't know what to make of it. A part of me was extremely uneasy at the fact that a homeless man had been in my house while I had been in it sleeping, but if he was only taking food... and nothing valuable, what is the harm. Also, I rather have a homeless man take my food than constantly have to prepare it for Alexander. Kid ate like a fat pig.

I spent the day trying to call different people that might have seen Alexander. His cell phone was off. I laid on my bed around noon, wondering what could have happened. Sure the kid was a nuisance but he was my grandson, I loved him.

I woke up at 4 pm, never meaning to go to sleep in the first place. I was so old I felt like I could sleep at any time, even if it were fifteen minutes after I had woke up in the morning. I looked outside and saw the black van screech in front of Washington Heights. The van looked in considerably terrible condition compared to what I had seen the night before. I could hardly see anymore... I was basically blind, but it seemed as though there were a bunch of holes on the side of it, like from a bullet or something... "couldn't be," I thought.

The van unloaded a person out of the side. The person staggered out, looking drunk or hurt I couldn't figure out which. The black van sped off and was followed by a truck... an ice cream truck.

The person who had just staggered out of the black van, stumbled over to the ice cream truck. I then realized who the person was. It was Alexander. It made sense, he had just entered the black van the night before. I saw Alexander exchange some gestures with the person in the ice cream truck. He handed the vendor something, I couldn't see what it was, and in return was given a Klondike Bar.

Alexander busted in the door of the penthouse with the ice cream in hand.

"What happened to you Alexander!?" I yelled in fright. He was covered in blood and from his face you could barely tell it was him.
"I got you an ice cream Grandma Pearl," he said, desperately, handing me the ice cream but coming up short as he fell to the ground with a thud.

He wasn't dead. He couldn't be because he was still breathing.. but he wasn't responding to anything. I called Oscar because I thought he would know what to do in a situation like this.

Oscar came into the door and lifted Alexander up and put him on the couch. For some reason, Oscar knew to empty Alexander's pockets out. There was nothing in it besides a note, covered in even worse handwriting than the note from the fridge.

"Next time, he'll be dead. Keep him inside Granny."

The note was chilling. I could smell death in the air even. But it was a fierce smell, not a death of old-age or depression like the kind I longed for.

"What happened Alexander, do you remember anything," Oscar said, non-chalantly almost.

Alexander fought to get the words out, but I could barely understand.

"G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g.... GEORGE!" He finally yelled out.
"George? George who?!" Oscar suddenly yelled.
"George, George, George, Jefferson..." Alexander said as he tailed off into what seemed to be a coma.
"I knew it. Grandma Pearl, call an ambulance, Alexander needs to be treated at a hospital," Oscar advised.

Oscar stormed out of the apartment leaving me alone with my vegetable grandson. I looked at him in worry, yet also envy. Why couldn't they take me. I wanted to go.

It makes me nervous

Alexander had just finished his steak from Oscar's, which at 10 oz. I thought would be big enough but I was obviously mistaking.. as he slammed down his fork and asked what else we had to eat in the house.

It was so cold and wet outside from the sleet that had been falling from the sky all day. I couldn't imagine going out in that weather. This kind of night just gave me the chills... I already knew it would be one of those nights where I would lie in bed watching tv into the wee hours.

Alexander got up from the table after eating some (all of the) chips. I was glad he ate the chips because I always found myself eating half the bag... never able to stop. That whole "once you pop you just can't stop" slogan was unfortunately true. I needed to ask Alexander's mom about what I should do to lose some weight... I just wasn't happy with myself anymore. I used to be so pretty and my voice was so beautiful. I have become what I most feared when I was a teenager; wrinkled up old Jewish lady... oy vey what was there to do.

Alexander said he was going out and that he would be home later. He took the keys to the BMW and ran out the door without saying a word. I proceeded to the window in the kitchen with looked out into the street below. There was much more activity out in this weather than I thought there would be.

I saw Alexander walk out into the street, but not in the direction of the parking deck where the BMW would be. Instead he just walked out onto the corner and boarded a weird looking black van. The windows must of had some tint to them because the windows seemed basically opaque. The only light was coming from the hub caps... which I think Alexander calls rims. I wonder what he could be doing getting into some van like that. I am sure when he came home that he would just make up some story and tell me he never got into any black van... that I was just getting old and couldn't see straight anymore. The terrible thing was... maybe he would be right, there is no way I could prove him wrong.

The sound of sirens hummed in the air as shady looking characters walked up and down the street, turning into dark alleyways. Alexander could possibly be spawned from the devil (actually I know his mother so it could be true), but I still love him. He always assured me nothing would happen to him out on the streets, he sounded exactly like his mother used to when she was his age. It drove me nervous to the point of breakdown almost every time he went out late at night, especially on nights like these. Yep, I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. If only I could fall asleep and never wake up.. I bet everybody would be pretty relieved then to not have me around anymore.

My thoughts were abruptly ended when I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I yelled, even though I was pretty close to the door when the words left my mouth.
"It's Ryan mam, Ryan Ford, may I come in."
"Um, who are you? I replied questioningly. I didn't just let people in, especially not after I came home to see that creep in my bed a few weeks ago. You never knew what kind of men could turn up in this neighborhood.
"I was seeing if your daughter was here. She has dark hair you know... kinda hispanic lookin'?" He said.
"There is nobody here like that... I don't live with any other women... only some strong men..." I said, lying of course but I didn't want this guy to think I was alone.
"Oh well I'm sorry mam, my mistake, night," he said, surprisingly kindly.

I just wish Oscar could deliver me some meat, or Manny's Grocery could deliver too. I just didn't want to go out there anymore. I was too old to move, too selfish to be in one of those old folks' home, and too scared to go out in that hellish neighborhood I used to love. All I wanted to do was build my nest in the penthouse. A penthouse that used to be home to my 4 kids, and my husband. I knew that Marcus wouldn't stand for Alexander's antics.

I lied down in bed, knowing I had a long night of restlessness ahead of me. It was 12:30 am and right before my eyes shut in an attempt to fall asleep, the image of the black van showed up in my head. I would surely dream about it, I could already tell.

I guess I'm going to have to get my hair done again...

I woke up Tuesday morning to a surprising peacefulness in the air. I wondered what could possibly be different today to make the air in my house still and calm... then I realized - Alexander hadn't woken up yet. Damnit. I went to Alexander's room to see why he wasn't promptly up at 7:25 like he usually is. I walked in his dark room, which before he got there was one of the guest rooms which was always nicely done and properly cleaned. On the contrary, now the room was littered with his some 6 pairs of shoes... which were all purchased by me... his soccer bag and soccer clothes, his dirty clothes from the day before... no maybe the week before, and other garbage.
"Alexander, it's 7:30, don't you need to get up to be ready for school?"
"I'm not going to school today grandma, I feel like shit," he said, shortly.
"Well ok, but I am not going to be here at all today because I am going to play mahjong and my friend Minnie is making me go to a tai chai class," I told him.
"You're not going to be here? Then what am I supposed to do? Just lay around dying? Can you at least buy me some more roast beef at Oscar's before you come home? he asked... quite demandingly I might add.
"Sure thing Alexander, just sleep in and I'll be home later."
I left the dark room and ended up having the best morning I could remember. I didn't have to worry about setting out Alexander's breakfast promptly before he came out of his morning shower, or have to deal with his pleads for taking the car to school that day. No, instead I was able to watch the morning news (Not SportsCenter like Alexander watched every morning despite my miseries) and drink my coffee. I left around 11 and Alexander had moved to the living room where he was lounging around, eating chips, and playing video games. He said he just felt too terrible to go into school at all. I told him I would call him later when I was leaving Mahjong. I met up with my friend Minnie who was always pushing me to be more active. I know I don't seem like the type to cuss by she was beginning to be an annoying bitch. I'm 82-years-old, I don't need to be doing tai chai.. or yoga.. or any other shit like that.

I had a terrible time like usual in the tai chai class... Minnie walked out of it like it was some orgasmic experience... she sickens me sometimes. I told her I had to cut our play-date short because I had to go to Oscar's before it closed for Alexander.

I walked into Oscar's and like usual he greeted me nicely. He was such a nice man all the time. Nobody treated me the way he did. He was so charming and kind.. old-fashioned. They just don't make men like him anymore. Not since the 50s had I remembered men like his kind. I ordered 2 lbs of roast beef (Alexander eats like crazy) and got my usual 2 lbs at the price of one senior citizen discount. I guess it might be the only upside of being on the brink of death... people feel bad for you and give you more shit for less money so you can be put out of your misery.

I sat down waiting for Oscar to finish cutting my roast beef and a man that was familiar walked up to me. I am pretty sure he was that Machelli guy who was always in Oscar's talking to Oscar in the back.

"Hello Ms. Pearl, how are you today? You look lovely," he said... chillingly.
"I'm fine... who are you," I asked, frightened.
"Name's Machelli, but that's irrelevant. Have you seen a sketchy looking character wandering around the upper floors of Washington heights? Smells kinda funny... kinda fat too?" He asked.
"Can't say I have. Is he some sort of milk man?" I asked.
"Never mind it old lady, I think your meat's ready anyways, See ya later."

He winked to Oscar and walked briskly out of the store, stepping into some foreign vehicle and zooming away. Oscar gave me the meat and a hug like he usually did. I walked outside and the damn wind was blowing harder than I can remember.

"Shit, my hair is going to be ruined isn't it?" I thought.
I will definitely have to go to the beauty parlor again for this. I just went yesterday. I don't know what is going to happen first; either I am going to go to the poor house or I'm going to die first.

I got my cell phone out of my purse to call Alexander but before I could punch in the speed dial number it showed that he was already calling me.

"Grandma where are you? It's like 4:15!?" He asked... politely of course.
"I'm on my way Alexander don't you worry... I hope you're feeling better," I said.
"Yeah I am feeling better but I'm hungry and need some food. I got to take a piss so I gotta go, I'll see you soon, bye grandma!"

He hung up the phone as I walked into the Washington Heights. I got in the elevator and even though I was going up I felt like I was actually spiralling down to hell.

For khaki shorts? The prices these days...

Alexander came home from work on Saturday at around three... feeling victorious as usual. He was just "so tired" or "utterly exhausted" as he would usually say. He busted in through the front door like he usually does... kicked off his shoes and jumped into a lounging position on the couch painted with 60s style flowers.

"Can I have some cookies and some milk please?" he asked (demanded).
"Well sure, they're in the kitchen Alexander..." I replied, halfway kidding.
"Grandmaaaaaaaa! I'm too tired! I had to wake up at 6:30 this morning and work for like.. eight hours. Can you please just get it for me!?" he said, desperately.
"Alright alright Alexander... you just like staying here because I give you everything you want... I'm basically you're slave!" I said.
"That's not true Grandma... I love you," he said... probably with a devilish smirk.

He ate the cookies... and some chips.. and some Reese's... and a bagel... and probably a lot of other stuff that I'll have to go buy more of soon...

He's eating me out of house and home. He's taking at least forty dollars or so every week... My body, my mind, my wallet can't afford this lifestyle.

He left the house around six, after he was all ready to go out on the town... in my car..except while he was leaving he blatantly was carrying a bottle of alcohol. He walked past me with it in his hand as if he thought I was dumb enough to not even know what it was... of course my passive self didn't say anything as he put it into the trunk of the car and kissed me on the cheek, saying goodbye. I told him to be home before 12 but I knew that I wouldn't be seeing him until at least 2 in the morning.


I woke up the next morning and made Alexander French toast. He always told me how bad he wanted in Sunday morning because it was the only day he got to sleep in and relax. He strolled into the kitchen around 11 a.m., with the first words out of his mouth being "Did you make French toast for me Grandma?" I didn't do anything besides sigh and put the two pieces of French toast on the table.

He then said, with a mouthful of food, "Can we go to the mall today? I need some khaki shorts." I obliged of course... how could I deny his wishes ever? I just couldn't for some reason.

He pranced around the store... taking far too long for my liking to pick out some shorts. I saw a girl named Lola skipping around the store too... without a care in the world. She was carrying some pears and offered me one but I don't really care for pears. I remember when I was Lola's age... without a care in the world besides walking around and teasing young men with my beauty. Now, my face was wrinkled and my skin didn't have its softness it once had in a previous life.

Alexander walked up to me and unloaded about 4 or 5 different garments into my arms, which were already carrying an umbrella, an overcoat, and a purse.

"I thought you were just getting khaki shorts?" I asked, knowing beforehand that he would surely get more than that.
"Grandma... I have to get at least two outfits for the Spring time... don't you want me to look nice and impress on the little Jewish girls?" he said, knowing I couldn't say no.
"Alright Alexander alright alright. Get your clothes, but this isn't happening every weekend," I said.

We went up to the cashier and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the total.
"250 dollars!?" I gasped.
"Come on Grandma, that's not too bad... clothes are getting more expensive now," he said, snatching my credit card out of my hand, handing it to the lady and then forging my signature on the receipt.

To make matters worse, it was raining pretty hard when we left the store and my hair was ruined... Alexander said he needed the umbrella because he was wearing new sandals (that I had bought him the week before). I can't drive in the rain but he made me because he said he wanted to look at his new clothes on the way home...

someone, put me out of my misery.