Alexander had just finished his steak from Oscar's, which at 10 oz. I thought would be big enough but I was obviously mistaking.. as he slammed down his fork and asked what else we had to eat in the house.
It was so cold and wet outside from the sleet that had been falling from the sky all day. I couldn't imagine going out in that weather. This kind of night just gave me the chills... I already knew it would be one of those nights where I would lie in bed watching tv into the wee hours.
Alexander got up from the table after eating some (all of the) chips. I was glad he ate the chips because I always found myself eating half the bag... never able to stop. That whole "once you pop you just can't stop" slogan was unfortunately true. I needed to ask Alexander's mom about what I should do to lose some weight... I just wasn't happy with myself anymore. I used to be so pretty and my voice was so beautiful. I have become what I most feared when I was a teenager; wrinkled up old Jewish lady... oy vey what was there to do.
Alexander said he was going out and that he would be home later. He took the keys to the BMW and ran out the door without saying a word. I proceeded to the window in the kitchen with looked out into the street below. There was much more activity out in this weather than I thought there would be.
I saw Alexander walk out into the street, but not in the direction of the parking deck where the BMW would be. Instead he just walked out onto the corner and boarded a weird looking black van. The windows must of had some tint to them because the windows seemed basically opaque. The only light was coming from the hub caps... which I think Alexander calls rims. I wonder what he could be doing getting into some van like that. I am sure when he came home that he would just make up some story and tell me he never got into any black van... that I was just getting old and couldn't see straight anymore. The terrible thing was... maybe he would be right, there is no way I could prove him wrong.
The sound of sirens hummed in the air as shady looking characters walked up and down the street, turning into dark alleyways. Alexander could possibly be spawned from the devil (actually I know his mother so it could be true), but I still love him. He always assured me nothing would happen to him out on the streets, he sounded exactly like his mother used to when she was his age. It drove me nervous to the point of breakdown almost every time he went out late at night, especially on nights like these. Yep, I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. If only I could fall asleep and never wake up.. I bet everybody would be pretty relieved then to not have me around anymore.
My thoughts were abruptly ended when I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I yelled, even though I was pretty close to the door when the words left my mouth.
"It's Ryan mam, Ryan Ford, may I come in."
"Um, who are you? I replied questioningly. I didn't just let people in, especially not after I came home to see that creep in my bed a few weeks ago. You never knew what kind of men could turn up in this neighborhood.
"I was seeing if your daughter was here. She has dark hair you know... kinda hispanic lookin'?" He said.
"There is nobody here like that... I don't live with any other women... only some strong men..." I said, lying of course but I didn't want this guy to think I was alone.
"Oh well I'm sorry mam, my mistake, night," he said, surprisingly kindly.
I just wish Oscar could deliver me some meat, or Manny's Grocery could deliver too. I just didn't want to go out there anymore. I was too old to move, too selfish to be in one of those old folks' home, and too scared to go out in that hellish neighborhood I used to love. All I wanted to do was build my nest in the penthouse. A penthouse that used to be home to my 4 kids, and my husband. I knew that Marcus wouldn't stand for Alexander's antics.
I lied down in bed, knowing I had a long night of restlessness ahead of me. It was 12:30 am and right before my eyes shut in an attempt to fall asleep, the image of the black van showed up in my head. I would surely dream about it, I could already tell.
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Fil had finished his newspaper gig for the day. A miserable day. Sleet stung his face, making it numb with cold. No one had bothered to buy a paper, or really stick their heads out of any crevace. He wondered why he bothered trying to sell news any way. How much money could he possibly make.
The night seemed a little better, though still deadly cold. He was walking back to the park as he saw the woman with the abusive father heading toward the appartments. Candy, Mandy-something like that. As she went in however, that no-good grandson jogged out and hopped into a black van lurking in the shadows. Fil new that nothing good could come of this...well...he could go borrow some food. Fil threw the rest of the papers into a trashcan and ran to catch the door before it closed. "Thanks Alex," he thought.
Fil new that Grandma Pearl would be heading to bed soon. That nuisance of a child never gave her a moments peace. She needed someone reliable and kind. He reached the landing of the penthouse and waited in the shadows for a while, making sure Pearl would be fast asleep. Then, silently, with the expertise only a homeless person after years of practice can master, he picked the lock, removed the chain with his tiny ten-year-old hands, and slid into the penthouse without a peep. Before setting off for the kitchen, he checked to make sure Pearl was sleeping soundly. Sleeping she was, but there was persperation on her brow, and she tossed and turned, muttering ominous words that sounded like 'kidnapped' and 'dead'.
Fil was moved with pity and compassion. Here was someone like him. She was a kind soul that everyone took for granted. She lived at the beck and call of others, only wanting someone to have a conversation with. They were ambiguous. She, no first name, He, no last. After a long while, he headed to the kitchen to scrounge up what he could, without drawing attention. But for some reason, this borrowing session was different. He felt terrible about taking advantage of her kindness like this. What could he do? He was starving, but though Pearl had plenty of food, she was starving too.
At last Fil reached a decision. He would leave a note. he found a sheet of paper by the computer, and searched for a pen. He had just given up hope, when he saw the felt-tipped marker stuck to the fridge for making grocery lists. Permanent. No going back. He began to write. This took him a long while, having to pause for long periods of time to remember how things were spelled. He wanted her to be able to read it.
ms Perl of the penthowse
i hope this finds yoo feeling happee. i want to apolgize for what iv done. for a long time iv been borowing sum food from yoo. i want to give it all bak one day but i dont no how as i dont have no monee or no place to live. i no i am a thefe but plese dont be skayrd becos i am very small and i dont want to hert yoo. i just hope that you will forgiv me and we mite can be frinds. i hope when i see yoo next yoo will have a smiul on yoor fase becos evree one needs a smiul sumtiyms.
Fil looked at it for a long time and decided it was the best he could do. He hoped he spelled everything right. Either way, there was nothing for it. He didn't sign his name in case Alexander found it, but Fil didn't think he would, because Fil folded it and put it behind the fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator. Fil had spent a long time in the penthouse and decided he should leave before Alexander came back. So, he quickly grabbed an apple, some canned peas, and a forzen loaf of bread. With his provisions, he stole out of Washington Heights and back into the night. Though chill and dark, Fil thought things might be beginning to look up.
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